More Crazy Nuts

This Is What You Get For Having An Affair

The China Press and Sin Chew Daily reported last week that a 30 year old woman secretary was having an affair with her boss. They had their car parked in a Singapore park where she was performing oral sex on him. Suddenly, a reversing van slammed into their car. The impact cause her to bite down and bit the man's penis off.

The man's wife had hired a private investigator to catch him cheating. He said that after parking the car, the car started to "shake violently" and then it was hit by the van. The PI heard the woman scream loudly and her mouth was covered in blood. Gross! The PI being a good guy, called for an ambulance. The woman followed him to the hospital with his detached penis.

I feel bad the guy got injured, but hah! That's what you get. Cheaters never prosper!

[image via signs-of-a-cheater]

Banana Disguised As A Gun

A 17 year old boy in Winston-Salem, NC went to an internet cafe last Thursday and demanded money by saying he had a gun. What he really had was a banana under his shirt.

The owner and a customer jumped the teenager and held him until authorities arrived. While they waited, the owner said the teen ate the banana. Deputies took picture of the banana peel and they joked about charging him with destroying evidence. The teen faces a charge of attempted armed robbery.

His parents must be so proud. A banana?! Really?!

[image via istockphoto.com]

Footloose Reprised?

Taylor Frost, a senior high school student at Heritage Christian in Ohio, went to his girlfriend's public high school prom this past Saturday. To attend, his girlfriend's school required that he received approval in signature from the principal of Heritage Christian. Which, Frost did.

According to Yahoo! News, his principal acknowledges signing the form, but told Frost that there would be consequences if he went because he would violate the school's rules that forbid dancing, hand holding, and rock music. Not only was he suspended for attending, he will also receive an "incomplete" on remaining assignments and will be banned from graduation ceremonies.

Frost's father said he plans to file a lawsuit against Heritage Christian because the suspension is unfair and unwarranted. The school rules should not apply outside the school.

The school's principal Tim England said, "For the parents to claim any injustice regarding this issue is at best forgetful and at worst disingenuous. It is our hope that the student and his parents will abide by the policies they have already agreed to."

Whoa, how Footloose is this? No dancing?! No rock music?! I don't even understand why the principal signed the form if he was just going to suspend the kid afterward anyway. And also, who says high school has jurisdiction over you after you leave campus? It wasn't even a school day! I hope the family wins. How crazy, how sad, and how completely old school. I love dancing and rock music!

[image via cafepress]

Bird Smuggler

The Daily Telegraph had a strange story today. Sony Dong was caught with 14 birds strapped to his legs. He was smuggling them from LA to Vietnam. Custom officials noticed feathers and droppings stuck to his socks. Um yuck!

Federal police has been tracking Dong since December when they found a suitcase checked in and abandoned by Dong was found with 18 birds inside, 5 of them were dead. The Feds saw that Dong had planned to travel to Vietnam in April, so they waited for him to get off the plane and busted him.

Dong has been charged with three counts of illegally importing wildlife, three counts of importing goods by means of false statement and conspiracy. If convicted, Dong could do up to ten years.

Is bird smuggling a really good money maker? The way he strapped those birds to his leg seems very strange and sad. I can't imagine that the trouble is worth the profit. I also can't believe he was going to travel with them like that all the way to Vietnam. That's got to be at least a 10+ hour flight. It cannot be comfortable.

[image via The Daily Telegraph]

You're Mad Over What?

Yahoo! UK news report that a Polish politician is upset over a local zoo getting a "gay" elephant, Ninio. They say he prefers male companions and will probably not procreate.

"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," Michal Grzes, a conservative councilor in the city of Poznan in western Poland, was quoted as saying.

The head of the Poznan zoo said 10-year-old Ninio may be too young to decide whether he prefers males or females as elephants only reach sexual maturity at 14.

First, I did not know there was such a thing as gay elephants. Second, who the hell cares. I can't believe this made news and I can't believe someone in a leadership role would actually express his distaste like this--over an animal in a zoo. Ugh. Totally ridiculous.

Drunk Driving on Bar Stool

The AP reported that in Newark, Ohio, the police responded to a call saying there has been a crash. What they found was a 28 year old man who had crashed his bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower, which he says can up to 38mph.

Kile Wygle, the bar-stool rider, was hospitalized for minor injuries. At the hospital, he told the
police he drank 15 beers prior to riding. He was then charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated. He pleaded not guilty and requested a jury trial.

Where can I get one of those?

[Image via AP]

Man Gives Wife Meth

King 5 News report that some crazy dude in Lewis County, Washington wanted his wife to have more energy to clean the house, so he added meth to her water. His wife was breast feeding their three month old kid and she did not know meth was in her water.

He is being charged with assault and child endangerment. The man is currently locked up in the Lewis County jail on another pending charge. Detectives said they learned of the meth incident while listening to the inmates phone calls.